are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
