Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
