some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
