If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
