Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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