we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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