I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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