garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The ass gains better be worth it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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