Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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