Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
