I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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