We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
