Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
