Swine flu. Run for my life!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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