If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
