Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
