I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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