i would punch a child for taco bell
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
