I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
