we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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