Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
