Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
