at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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