There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
