so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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