I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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