I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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