Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I hope mine doesn't look like that
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
