I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
