I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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