I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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