So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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