i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
