I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
