I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
