so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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