Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
