North Korea, Best Korea!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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