if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
