I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
