he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
