i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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