"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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