She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
