I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
