you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
