Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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