Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
