i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
