I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
