i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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